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In 2017, I lost a relative. She was young, with her whole life ahead of her.I felt guilty, why am I here and she isn't? There was no rhyme or reason for it.  

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In the weeks and months that followed, I promised to make more meaning from my own life. I realised that whilst in my relative's case, it was unavoidable, and not in anyone's control, one thing I could do was to take control of my life and to try and live better in order to try and stay as healthy as I could.

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I decided to do something that I wasn't good at ( & had never really enjoyed) - so I started running. I chose something that I wasn't good at to deliberately try and push myself to get better. At school, I had been a good sprinter but terrible at cross country (I would usually be at the back, struggling with my asthma inhaler). So, now was the time to try.

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I slowly worked up from 1km to further distances and entered various obstacle mud runs for charity, including the Kernow Killer (16km run through mud, obstacles, forests and a lake). It gave me a real sense of achievement, as well as feeling that I was giving something back. And, as a bonus, I became fitter, and some of my anxiety about my ability to run longer distances without wheezing had abated. I realised, however, that I was not running for enjoyment, but to run away from my grief and, truthfully, running was never going to become a habit that stuck – simply because I don’t really enjoy it. I was choosing obstacle course mud runs to break up the tedium of running. I was attending the gym regularly to train for the mud runs – but as soon as the run had ended, whilst I enjoyed the routine of going to the gym, my motivation to continue would wane as soon as life commitments came calling, and over time, I stopped wanting to go out for a run. I have huge admiration for those who enjoy running, but it's just not something that clicked for me, and that is ok.

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To compound matters, once lockdowns happened, it seemed as though life was put on hold. I gained over two stone, and began to experience back problems. I had also given birth to my fifth child and my body had been through a lot. Around the time of COVID, my life was impacted by further life traumas which meant that I developed coping mechanisms to get me through some difficult times, but there came a point when I no longer needed those mechanisms.

 

In 2022, Following a health scare related to my heart, a recurring back problem (which had left me bed-bound on two occasions) and feeling generally overwhelmed in life, I decided that I owed it to my children and to myself to become healthier.

I knew that my lifestyle was causing health issues, but I did not have a weight loss goal in mind. Instead, I achieved results largely through a focus on incorporating exercise into my weekly routine - alongside changes to nutrition (for the whole family), stress management, sleep health and many other areas of my life.  I also worked with a therapist to navigate the life trauma and to develop healthier coping mechanisms.

I made it my mission to find my motivation once again, and to establish this time a way of life that I would be able to stick to, something that even lockdowns wouldn't be able to derail.

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At the same time, due to unforeseen circumstances (lack of school places for my children and then lack of available childcare), when moving back to Birmingham I became unemployed. Making a positive out of a negative, I decided that it was the perfect opportunity to retrain as a personal trainer. I made this choice based on a desire to learn more about health and fitness, in addition to being motivated by the sheer number of women who have told me over the years about their own battles with weight, food, and basically not having the time to focus on their own health. I resolved to do something meaningful to honour my relative's memory, help other women and to truly form healthy habits of my own.

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As I progressed in my journey, I found that I love walking in the park, wild swimming, boxing, dancing in my kitchen and exercising with weights. Movement helps me to feel better, less anxious and to inhabit my body much more meaningfully. I realised I didn’t need to make massive, sweeping changes – I am never going to be someone who gets up at 5am and exercises nor am I someone who ‘eats clean’ or counts every macro. But that is ok (and if you are someone who does those things, and enjoys them, please keep doing them!) Life is not about one thing or another – it’s about doing things we can. Whilst continuing to build on small, sustainable habits, I made huge steps forward with my own fitness, I realised that this is my passion, and that I can help others too.

 

I also chose not to focus on weight loss. Yes you read that correctly. Weight loss was not my focus, instead I chose health goals, and habit changes. Small changes over time become habits. It's about realistic time frames and sustainable fitness. For example, I began to introduce more fruit and veg, reduced the ultra processed foods, increased fibre and protein, and increased my activity levels. Crucially, I eat all kinds of food, nothing is 'banned', it's about making daily choices that serve me well, and not labelling food as good/bad. Weight loss DID happen but it was a SECONDARY effect of making the changes.

 

As I was retraining, I was shocked to learn that most personal training doesn't account for women's bodies specifically, as the majority of sports research is based on male subjects. I therefore embarked on a mission to learn as much as I could about women's health, becoming professionally informed about perimenopause, menopause, pregnancy, post-natal, post-menopause and older adults. I also began to understand the impact of life trauma on our behaviour, and undertook training to ensure that I provide a trauma-informed approach to exercise. As someone with two chronic health conditions, I also began to understand how exclusive standard training approaches can be to people who have health challenges. So I became qualified in GP Exercise Referral meaning I can work with a variety of chronic health conditions.

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My whole philosophy is that lifestyle changes should be individualised, sustainable, fun and we should want to make them for the right reasons. We must remember that we often develop habits to help us get through difficult times in life and it is important to be kind to ourselves.

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Short term weight loss goals are not effective in the long run.  These 6-12 week drop a dress size programmes may seem very appealing and may even generate results (& profits for the fitness industry) but we know from research that two years later, people will have gained back all of the weight and more. Why? Because the habits that underpin our choices are not addressed by short-term quick-fix programmes. 

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Blanket approaches to health and fitness are unhelpful. You are unique and you deserve a unique approach.

 

Live Yourself better was created to support you as an individual to move better, feel better and live better.